Your parents are active empty nesters, relishing the freedom of retirement and excited to begin a new chapter. They’re still living in the family home, a house that echoes with your childhood memories, but has clearly outlived its purpose for them.

If you want to suggest the advantages of downsizing for seniors, you might be unsure how to broach the topic. You may feel your parents would be happier if they were freed from the maintenance and expense that comes from homeownership and moved into a community of fun, enthusiastic, like-minded peers. Still, you're not sure what they think. Will they feel like you're pressuring them to move? Even with the best intentions, talking to parents about senior living apartments can be intimidating.

Approach these discussions in the spirit of collaboration. You’re not trying to convince your parents to move: you’re having a loving, respectful conversation about their needs and wants. Whether your folks decide to explore 55+ apartment communities or stay in the old homestead is their decision. Your main goal is to provide information, express concerns, and make sure everyone is on the same page (after all, your parents may be worried about how you’ll react if they sell the house you grew up in).

Make it a Family Affair

If you have siblings nearby, invite them to the conversation. Share a meal and ease into the conversation over dessert and a glass or two of wine. Don't give your parents the feeling you’re teaming up against them; you just want them to consider all their options.

Start By Listening

If you've watched the home you grew up in start to overwhelm your parents, you may feel they need to move for their own health and happiness. It’s tempting to use language like “should” and “must” as you share these feelings. Instead of “should,” lead with “Have you ever considered…?”

Hear what your parents have to say. They’ll have perspectives on their goals and downsizing timelines you have not considered. They may even have plans that surprise you, like relocating to 55+ apartment communities in warmer climates. You won’t know any of that unless you let them share.

At least at first, your parents may not want to have the conversation or announce they’re not ready to move. Respect their decision and move on to another topic. If nothing else, you’ve planted a seed that might come up in conversation later. Don't push the matter or get into an argument. Just put the idea out there, express any concerns you have, and respect your parents’ response.

Do Your Homework

If this is your first time discussing rightsizing for seniors, research senior living apartment communities in advance so you can highlight great locations and the perks of communal living. Offer to go online together to explore fabulous facilities like Overture’s resort-like communities, with their amenities and designated activity spaces. Many 55+ apartment communities offer virtual tours that give prospective residents an idea of what their new life will look like

Address the Elephant in the Room

Your parents may have already considered downsizing for retirement, but selling the family home can still feel like an obstacle. Breaking the emotional connection to the place they raised their children can be extremely difficult. And let’s not minimize the physical task of rightsizing for seniors, which includes going through a lifetime’s work of accumulated stuff and deciding what to keep, what to toss, and what to give away.

Assure your parents you will be there to help with the heavy lifting, literally and figuratively. Be prepared for your own emotional journey as you decide whether to jettison your fourth-grade art project or stow it in your own basement for your kids to deal with later.

Join the Tour

If your parents are amenable, offer to join them for a tour of an Overture community or other senior living apartment. Once they’ve moved, you’ll be amazed how quickly they settle in and embrace the best of active adult living. Don’t take it personally if it takes them a while to return a phone call.

Those happy hour cocktails won’t drink themselves.