"We are most alive when we are in love."—John Updike
Adam and Eve started the ball rolling. Eons later, we still love to love. Our craving for connection and contact, and the desire to be part of a relationship is still pretty much the same as it was when Eden was blooming. So, no. Love – at any stage of life - has not changed.
Dating, on the other hand, is a different animal entirely. Especially dating over 55. The process will bear little or no resemblance to what you remember from the, well…a few decades ago. As you contemplate getting back out there to find a new significant other, be prepared for a journey of self-discovery. You’ll be using technology that didn’t even exist when you were courting back in the day. And there is a strong chance nobody will use the word courting.
Even more pertinent, the person you are today also didn’t exist back then. You are older, and - hopefully - wiser, and your current criteria for the perfect companion may have changed dramatically.
"Love yourself first and everything falls into line."—Lucille Ball
Know Yourself
Whether you are divorced or widowed, or searching for love the first time around, you will know when you are ready to take the plunge into the dating pool. Friends will be trying to force your timeline. They mean well, but don’t let them rush you. You will want to be mentally and spiritually prepared to go forward with enthusiasm and a positive attitude. And please don’t forget your sense of humor. You’re going to need it. Not every frog you kiss is going to transform into a prince - or princess. Some are just frogs.
You Make the Rules
There is a good chance you will not be having children with your new squeeze. You will not be raising a family and juggling work and soccer practice together. This time around is all about what works for you and makes you happy. Do you want to meet somebody who will eventually be a housemate or possibly a spouse? Are you content to keep separate residences and get together a few nights a week? Are you looking for a travel companion? Maybe you just want someone to go to dinner with every so often. When it comes to rules, you set the parameters to please yourself and your partner.
Communication is the Key
Nobody comes into a relationship at this age without some kind of baggage from their former life. You may choose to go in whole hog and take on a step parent/grandparent role. Or you may prefer to enjoy your new romance with a dynamic that is more yours and mine…rather than yours/mine/ours. Honesty is a critical piece of creating an authentic relationship that fulfills your needs. Be true to yourself and you will attract a person who sees you and appreciates you for exactly who you are.
"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."— Robert Frost
Get Online
Don’t be afraid to explore the myriad of dating apps. Be advised, it can become all consuming, so set a timer to keep yourself from total immersion hours for on end. These are a few of the apps specifically designed for older adults.
Buyer Beware
Meeting people through online dating can be a wonderful experience. The apps have created an expanded pool of potential mates that you would never otherwise have access to. That’s the good news.
The not so good news is there are people who abuse these apps, getting online solely to perpetuate scams on the unsuspecting. Follow a few of these online dating safety tips for seniors to minimize any risk to your wallet – or your safety.
- Never meet at your home on a first date. Make sure to go somewhere public and let a friend know where you will be at all times.
- Communicate only on the app’s site. If a potential partner asks for your personal details and wants to chat offsite, just say no.
- If anyone asks you for money, stop the communication immediately and report them to the apps management.
- Take your time getting to know a new prospect and don’t allow them into your personal space until you are totally comfortable.
"Love is friendship that has caught fire."—Ann Landers
Ann, that renowned lady of advice, must have been thinking of Overture senior living apartments when she made that comment. Who needs dating apps when you have an entire community of like-minded peers right outside your door? Book a tour at the Overture community of your choice today. Mr. or Ms. Right may already be there waiting to kindle a friendship – or more.
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."–Nora Ephron