Dating after 55 can feel intimidating, but really, romance hasn't changed much since your first nervous teenage date. Romance remains romance. Cupid still targets unsuspecting victims and renders them hopelessly love-struck.
That said, there are some elements of dating for active adults that differ from when we were kids. First of all, we’ve all changed. No surprise there - you’re not the same person you were when you stumbled through the bittersweet trials of first love. Second, dating probably bears little or no resemblance to what you remember from your misspent youth.
Finally, relationships after 55 are a world unto themselves. If nothing else, there’s a very good chance you're no longer looking for “the One” to raise a family with. Instead, you and your new partner may both have adult kids, a situation that dating as a twentysomething did little to prepare you for.
With that in mind, here are a few senior dating tips to help you dip your toes back into the waters of romance.
Who Does What and When?
Back in the day, the rules of dating were pretty clear, if restrictive. In most cases, it was the guy who asked the gal out, paid for the date, drove her home, and initiated the first kiss. Time has shattered those expectations, opening up new opportunities, but making dating after 55 a bit more complicated.
Take, for example, the simple act of asking someone out. Sure, in many cases it’s still the guy asking, but women can also take the initiative nowadays, which is great for those guys who are a little shy about asking for dates – almost everyone remembers how crushing it was to muster up the courage to ask someone out in high school, only to face rejection.
This equality creates some confusion. If you're both waiting for the other to make the first move, it’s going to take a while for romance to blossom. And once you're on the date, who pays? Has the date been a disaster if they don't call or text right away? Should you get in contact after the date? If so, how long should you wait? Where once women were waiting by the phone, now everybody is sweating – and running texts by their friends to see if they are too short, too long, too needy, too pushy, not pushy enough.
You can change this uncertainty into a strength. Why not have a chat about how dating for active adults has changed over the years? You can feel each other out and maybe reminisce about the “good old days” (or how the dating scene’s improved since then).
How to Meet People in Today’s Dating Scene?
You no longer have to rely on your sister’s boyfriend's second cousin to fix you up with their aunt’s third cousin twice removed anymore. There are tons of dating sites for the over-55 set. The upside is a wonderful electronically enhanced dating pool. The downside is you may be connecting with someone that nobody – including your sister’s boyfriend’s second cousin – has ever heard of. So give online dating a try, but be aware of the potential pitfalls and exercise caution.
Here are some senior dating tips if you meet someone online:
- Always arrange the first meeting in a public place.
- Always let a loved one know where you are.
- If you’re communicating with someone who will never meet you in person, end it.
- If your newfound cyber interest asks you for money, end the interchange and report that person to the site. They’re trying to scam you.
- Be wary of anyone who asks you to communicate off the dating site before meeting.
There are tons of success stories about online dating for seniors. With the right attitude and good common sense, you could join that happy club.
If you prefer to meet people the old-fashioned way, you’ve got plenty of options. Volunteering and attending community events get you out of the house and help you socialize. Even if you don't find new love at such events, you’ll make new friends. And who knows, they may introduce you to that special someone.
Be Yourself
There is no shortage of tips for relationships after 55, but there’s only one piece of advice that really matters: Be yourself. This is your time to shine. If you have kids, they’re grown and on their own. You’re no longer working. In short, you're footloose and free to choose whatever type of relationship you want. Your goal may be marriage. You may seek a regular companion who shares your interests. You may simply want a weekly dinner partner and have no interest in a more serious relationship that merges living spaces - or finances. Be honest about what you want. You’ve earned the right to be true to yourself. And somewhere out there, there’s someone who wants the same things you do.
Overture’s premier active adult communities offer unique opportunities for dating after 55. Instead of spending hours online or politely declining endless attempts by well-meaning, match-making friends, join an inclusive, supportive community designed to facilitate and encourage all manner of meaningful relationships.
The rule is, there are no rules. Your life. Your relationships. Your choice.