Now the tables are turning. Instead of worrying about being grounded for staying out too late, you’re worrying about aging parents. You are calling to check on them and wondering if they are living how and where they should be.
Welcome to the sandwich generation. You feel responsible for the wellbeing of both your children and your parents. And neither group is too gung-ho about your interference.
Yep. Fun stuff.
Caring for aging parents is a tricky undertaking. Family dinner can quickly become a battleground as your well-intentioned suggestions are met with, well…let’s just say, minimal enthusiasm.
Your mission, now that you have chosen to accept it, is to be an ally, not an adversary. Work with your parents to offer the support and help they need to assess their circumstances and embark on a lifestyle that accommodates their current needs. A little empathy and respect can go a long way toward reaching acceptable solutions – and keeping the peace.
What’s the Plan?
The time to devise a plan for the golden years is before the proverbial pin is pulled from the grenade. If your parents are already in crisis, you don't have the luxury of protracted conversation. Arrange a friendly family meeting sooner rather than later to focus on your parents’ health, safety and happiness. Reinforce your commitment to helping in any way you can.
Talk Finances
The last thing your parents will want to do is discuss their personal finances with you. However it is a critical part of creating a viable retirement budget. Help them compile a list of their assets for a comprehensive - and realistic - assessment of what money will be available in retirement. Suggest they collect all essential legal documents – wills, trust, power of attorneys, advanced medical directives, etc – and keep them somewhere easily accessible. If they are not comfortable sharing all this information with you, consult a professional.
Diet and Exercise
You will ask your parents if they are eating properly. They will say yes. But it’s not a bad idea to follow up that question with a conversation about nutrition and exercise. Offer to help with meal planning. If your parents are at a point where they cannot handle cooking, check out meal delivery options. Make a date to drop by regularly for a walk. You can enjoy a social outing while you make sure your parents are up and moving.
Help Them Pack
Often helping aging parents means encouraging them to jettison the family home for a living environment that will enhance their enjoyment of the retirement years. You may be sure the house you grew up in has outlived its purpose and is now a source of financial and emotional stress. They may need some convincing.
If words don’t do the trick, book a tour at an Overture senior apartment community, and let its resort-worthy amenities, state-of-the-art apartments, and - the piece de resistance - caring, inclusive community, speak for itself.
Once your parents are settled and in the swing of things your only problem will be getting them to find the time to return your calls. Don’t take it personally. You know how it is when your friends want to go out and play. Those crazy kids just can’t say no.